God gave me a revelation today. Actually, it was a new twist on an old revelation.
It started when I really struggled tonight to find someone to pray for. I spent a lot of time looking. A lot. But there wasn't a good opportunity. Really, I just lacked courage. But I finally found a guy who was filling up a white car with gas. He had a ball cap and really large, black eyes. He was friendly and let me pray for him, shaking my hand afterward.
The revelation was this: I'm a chicken. I've been doing this for 340 days! Our pastor told me at the beginning of this project that the fear of approaching someone never would go away. I didn't really believe him. Surely, I would get used to it.
To a certain degree, I have. There are times when I just come right out and ask someone -- no worry, no adrenaline, no fear. But other times, I just lack the courage. I hesitate. Tonight was one of those nights. I suppose some Christians are just more outgoing, more naturally wired to do this kind of thing -- to go up to strangers and strike up a conversation about God. That's not me.
So God showed me again tonight that every day of this project, every time I talked to someone, was a result of him giving me the courage to do it. Otherwise, I wouldn't have made it past Day 1. When I needed to open my mouth, to walk up to someone, God supplied the energy. He supplied the words. He overcame the fear -- not me.
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