Tuesday, November 16, 2010

After three months ...

For years, I've prayed the Lord's Prayer on my way to work. It's been there every day during that commute.  Sometimes it's uplifting. Other times, it's a chore. But I can't stop myself from doing it. I'll even sit in the parking lot after I arrive, to make sure I pray, meditating on every major concept in the prayer.

And for years when I got to that part about God and "thy will be done," I would pause and take a deep breath. It was a sigh really. In my prayer, I was releasing myself to God's will. Whatever God wanted to do to me that day, I was okay with it. He's in charge.

My perspective through this project has changed slightly. I still acknowledge His sovereign will. But I've found myself praying a bit differently -- less concerned about what God will do to me, and more concerned with what God will do through me.

I've found that we're not punching bags that God throws his best stuff at, either good or bad -- and mostly bad. Instead, we're supposed to be vessels created by Him to love Him and serve Him. And at some point, we reach out to Him and desire to do His will. We want to carry forward whatever He has in store for us.

That's a lesson I've learned in this project, which I'm finding so far is as much about teaching me about God as it is about me testifying to others.

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